I messaged this girl that I met on Plenty Of Fish and really didn't give it much though when I received no reply.That’s the way it goes sometimes. I got a reply back from this particular individual several weeks later, complete with phone number. I was a bit surprised however when her email included her phone number. I mean, I had never even communicated with her before. In hindsight, I likely should have tossed that email, but I was in the dumps because I had not had a date in some weeks, so I decided to text her.
This started an avalanche of text messages back and forth for the next few days. We finally decided it was time to meet. Since my car was broken down, she drove over 60 miles in an old heap she borrowed from a friend just to see me. I was quite flattered by that.She was pretty hot in person. Better than her photos on the site. She was wearing a nice perfume that was not overpowering. In all, the physical package was nice. On top of that we seemed to hit it off really well. Our coffee get together lasted quite a while, so we whiled away a couple of hours in the park and I took her to supper as well. She invited me back to her house to spend the night. On the drive back we began to kiss, and it seemed to be going great. We got back to her place and started listening to some music while snuggling on the couch.
Suddenly, she started getting text messages by the dozens and she started to focus on replying to them. Then her phone started to ring as well, and she kept answering it. I really thought it was quite rude for her to be spending more time on the phone than with me. On top of that, what little time we had between interruptions was taken up by a monologue on her part about her ex boyfriend and all of her trials and tribulations with him. As if I cared! So I made polite noises at the right times while I sat there totally bored by this new twist. I guess I must have hit the right tone with her, because we ended up in the sack after all, so that was worth the effort. As soon as we were finished, she got out of bed and disappeared down the hall and into her room mate's bedroom. She never came back. I thought, “What the hell's up with that? Does that girl have a few screws missing or something?” So I just laid back down and went to sleep, alone and somewhat confused.
The next morning, the first thing that I did when I woke up was to start preparing to leave. I opened the bedroom door and saw her roommate looking at me. She had this strange look on her face as if she was shocked that I was still there. Her roommate triggered all my psycho chick alarms. I have no idea why. Then it struck me. She was looking at me as if I was competition. These two ladies had a thing for each other but it seemed that the one who picked me up was bisexual. Just to be perverse, I decided to have a shower before I left. The water in this backward hell hole probably was not fit to let an animal drink let alone a human because it smelled like boiled eggs. By this time I was really pissed off.
After dressing, I decided to go back to the bedroom and wait for my date to show up. I wanted to find out what was going on. Most importantly, I needed to find out when I could escape from this crazy place. When she came it she told me she was in a spot because she had borrowed the car from her friend's mother without permission. Her roommate's mom had flipped her lid and kicked her out over the episode. She had to leave in an hour.
I noticed she looked like she was on something and her roommate looked all strung out as well. This wild freak of a guy came to drive us to my date's mother's house. The house was set back about a half mile from the road. When we got there, there was a bunch of sorry looking people hanging around. They all looked like they were on something pretty powerful, and from the strange smell around, I guessed that they were actually cooking up a batch of something out back someplace. This entire group was all just hanging around listening to some of the worst music I have ever heard. And of course they had to have the volume up full to boot. It was sort of like one of those bad nightmare scenarios that you see in some B grade Hollywood movies. I started to get a little worried; almost fearful.
One if these guys stirred himself enough to tell me which train I needed to take home. My date and her mother left me standing there for a few minutes, and when they returned, we left. The strange guy driving dropped the girl and her mother off at another destination and we continued on.
This guy really freaked me out. He was all in black, had his hair spiked and some of his teeth filed. If his objective was to look like a werewolf, then he was successful. Just needed a bit more hair. Maybe a beard would have helped. He kept grinning at me once in a while and I was starting to get concerned. I was ready to have a bowel movement right then and there. I had to clinch my cheeks together as tight as I could and hoped I would get home in one piece. I was beginning to think he was going to take me all the way home, but he finally stopped at a train station and let me out. I thanked him and literally ran inside.
As it turned out, with all the delays at the house, we missed the train I was supposed to catch. I had to wait three more hours for the next one. On top of that, I did not have enough money to get all the way back. So I just sat back and stewed. I had to get off about an hour away from my destination and hitchhike the rest of the way. It had turned into a damp cold, drizzly day, and by the time I got home I was pretty demoralized. The first thing I did was to take a hot shower to wash the stink off and warm up.
Plenty of Fish might better be called Plenty Of Freaks from my perspective. From now on I am going to pay for any dating service that I join. The money is a good filter for riffraff. I have learned that some times free is not always the best way to go. And some sites are not always safe because any moron, freak and weirdo can also join, just because it is free.
Not all free dating sites are bad, but there are those out there that seem to have a majority of total morons who wouldn't be able to get away with the crap they pull on a top notch free site.
Once I had made the decision to leave POF, I had another issue to solve. How would I find a replacement site that was actually better. After a lot of searching, I finally found a site that rated a bunch of dating sites. It has been successful for me, so I am passing that on to you. There are risks in joining any dating site, but especially so for free sites. So be safe. The link below is one that I have used successfully. I trust it will be a valuable resource for you as well.
Dating Sites
This is mostly of concern to people who are interacting with women from Russia, although many former eastern bloc European countries also fall into this category. Many of these situations apply to 'pen pal' type activities over snail-mail, but they still apply to the Internet.
Be very careful when seeking women or men for relationships or marriage on dating sites hosted in other country's or who's clientele is mainly from a country different than your own. Especially if the ad says seeking men or women in other country's for love and possible marriage. “HELLO”, if that doesn’t say looking for a sucker nothing does. Its been proven time and time again that a lot of these people use dating sites to get out of there native country, or as a vehicle to get into yours, because they would not normally qualify. For some reason or another they can't do it on their own and that's where you come in. I can't count all the stories I've heard or read of people who met someone online from another country brought them over, got them green cards or whatever they needed to stay in the country, then once they were there for enough time that they no longer had to fear being sent back, they were gone. Often leaving the original sponsoring person with a broken heart, big alimony payments and in some cases child support payments. In the mean time their former spouses were busily sponsoring their real lover from their own country.
One example of this is a man I know who immigrated to Jamaica. He had opened a store there and was making a life for himself. He hired an single woman to work in his store who happened to have several children. After dating and marrying her she began to pester him about going back to his country and how it would be a better place for the kids to grow up. Do you smell a con job? I do. Instead of standing his ground and staying put he applied to take them back home to live, once there she became pregnant, he got a job, was buying a home for them and paying for a vehicle. And after having two children with him on top of the three she had originally she threw him out. She got the house, car and all the furniture on top of that he had to pay alimony and child support for five children, the last time I saw him he was actually riding a bike, living in housing and had lost his job because of his lack of focus brought on by the separation. A high price to pay wouldn't you say.
Another example is a women I'll call Betty who met a man from Europe, brought him over, and married him. After a while she began to notice that her bank account was being drained. Well it turned out he was dipping into it and sending the money back home to his parents. Soon after that he started demanding that she dress like people from his country and only associate with the same. He got her to sponsor his family into the country. It was at this point that she realized that she had been taken and quickly pulled her sponsorship of him, filed for an annulment, and had him deported.
I'm not saying everyone out there are set to use you, but many are, otherwise they would be looking for someone in their own country instead of yours. I mean I know a guy who had a women contact him on face book and tell him she was in love with him. How could she be in love with him when all she did was look at his photo. One favorite con is to tell you early on that they are in love with you, like those are magic words or something. Its impossible for anyone to fall in love that fast with someone they have never met in person. They cannot know enough about you! That is your cue to block them and stop all co North America is one of the most beautiful places on earth and we have lots of good looking men and women looking for someone like you. There’s no need to look any further then you own back yard for someone special to share your life with. Just put yourself out there and get noticed. At least you will know they are not after a green card or sponsorship. The truth is that some of these dating sites don't care if you get conned as long as they make money. There are lots of dating and chat sites that you can join to meet men and women locally you don't need to get involved with over-seas sites.
The following are specific examples that have been cited in other publications:
She does not want you to visit her in her country, but insists on seeing you here instead. She will likely say that she already has a visa (student or otherwise). She cannot afford a ticket so asks you to send her the money to purchase one.
Although your lady friend might have some legitimate reasons not to invite you to her home-country it should still raise a red flag for you. Do not send her any money, offer to buy her a ticket instead. Make sure you get a refundable ticket. Even if she writes to you that an airline ticket would cost two or three times less in her country (which is questionable), do not send her the money! Buy the ticket yourself!
She tells you she can come on a student visa You are inviting a lady friend to visit you in your home country, and she tells you that she needs money to get an exit visa to leave Russia.
This is a classic scam, to get money from you. Most countries do not charge for an exit visa, certainly that is not the case in European countries (even Russians do not need any exit visas to leave Russia anymore.
She tells you she can come on a student visa.
Unlikely but possible. Do not send her money. Ask her to provide more details on her visa and the University that she is going to come to study at, and then contact that University. If they have some kind of a student exchange program in place, they will be happy to tell you about it. Also, you can contact the Embassy that issued that visa to confirm its validity. If she is scamming you, on a valid visa then you can lodge a complaint against her and they will pull the visa most likely.
She says that she can get a visa because she can claim to be your fiancée
She cannot file for a fiancée visa if the two of you have never met before. One of the requirements for the fiancée visa is a personal meeting within the last two years. And YOU will have to file lots of paperwork before she can even fill out her application.
She claims that she can come because she has a work or business visa.
This could be valid even if it is improbable. More likely is that they will try for a work visa first and then apply for a fiancee visa when they get here because that method gets them here sooner, and the fiancee visa is a longer term approval, but more permanent status. In any event, do not send money. Buy any tickets required, including the payment of any visa fees yourself.
She still has ads up after you agree to sponsor her.
This could be just sloppiness on her part by not taking down her old ads after you start your arrangement. Set up some new free email accounts and try contacting her on these other sites to see if she is still trolling.
She says she needs help paying for her Internet connection because it is too expensive.
Using an Internet Cafe might be a very big expense for her. The average salary in Russia is only about $200.00 a month or so. If this is one of the first things mentioned however, you should be thinking SCAM!. She may be telling the truth. People in Russia seldom earn more than $300.00 a month. If it is the first thing asked for, then your scam-alert bells should be ringing. Even though it may be true because people in Russia do not earn that much money, if it happens early in your communications with her, then it is likely a scam.
She seldom if ever uses your real name, but usually just refers to you by pet names that could apply to any man she is speaking to.
There is a strong possibility it is a scam because she could just be sending out a form letter to 20 other guys saying the same things. If there are specific answers to specific questions that you have asked in your previous communications, then it could be legit.
She says that she loves you and you have only been communicating for a very short period of time.
This is most likely a SCAM!
You are a lot older than her and have had little luck attracting women of her age, but still she says she has strong feelings for you.
This one is a 50/50 scammer possibility. Many young women in Russia will prefer men who are 10 to 20 years older. That being said, it is also true that Russian scammers target older western men because they are soft touches.
She does not ask for money but she keeps mentioning her desperate financial situation in every letter.
She may be trying to get you to offer money to her as a subtle scam, or she may just really be poor. So test her attachment to you by mentioning that you do not have that much money yourself. You make just enough to get by. If she still continues communicating with you, then she is likely honest. If she stops, she is either a scammer or else a gold digger. Either way, you are better off without her
In most letters she repeats the same things, in exactly the same words.
Very likely this is a copy and paste scammer. They have a lot of pre-written letters and literally cut and paste stuff from them into the current letter. They often lose track of what they have already sent you. Try writing her using an post office box under a different name and see if she sends the same stuff
She cannot give you a phone number because she does not have a phone.
Likely true. Many places in Russia do not have phones in every house.
Useful Links and Trusted marriage agencies:
Russia: Internet Dating Schemes US Department of State
Better yet, seek your future wife in North America:
Here is a great place to find the best dating sites on the Internet.
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/top10datingpersonals.php
I have never known anyone to have more bad luck on blind dates than me. To give you a couple of examples my first blind date was with a girl who seemed very sweet and seem to have all her faculties about her until she started talking which she did non stop. At some point during her one way discourse, she started to talk about her kidney problems. Apparently she had recurring kidney stone issues. I was dumb struck during this diatribe on her part, which she took to be undivided interest on my part. Unintentionally I muttered out loud, “I don't believe this”. So she said, “You think I am making this up? Well check this out then!”. She rummaged through her bag and extracted a small pill bottle. She unceremoniously opened it and spilled the contents onto the table. I could not believe what was laying there! Three little rocks, which she told me were her keepsake kidney stones. Her obsession required that she carry them with her all the time! I have heard of weird keepsakes, but this was just too much for me.
After dinner she got up from the table and excused herself and proceeded to the ladies room, where she seemed to spend quite some time. After what seemed like a half hour, she had still not returned. I started to worry. The next time the waitress came by I asked her if she would check up on her for me. The waitress went into the washroom and immediately came running out shouting for someone to call the ambulance. I ran in to see if there was anything I could do to help and noticed vomit all over the floor. Seems she was a binge and purge artist and is now being treated for bulimia nervosa. Funny I didn't notice she had any problem, but then I had thought it a little weird that she was wearing such bulky clothing on such a hot day. I guess it just goes to show you that there are some very sick people walking around and you would not know it if you are not specifically looking for it.
I did let my friends suck me into a few more blind dates, but fortunately, none of them gave me the same severe negative reaction as the first one. There was the goth looking more like Dracula's bride than a date, miss sunshine who was so bubbly she made you want to vomit, tattoo lady with snakes and lizards adorning all of her visible skin, and iron maiden who wore tons of metal stuff stuck through various parts of her anatomy (yuk). All of these I just put down to personal incompatibilities because I have since seen all of them apparently dating other dudes.
My very last blind date was really a humdinger. A now ex-friend of mine gave her my email address and told me that she was really hot. Anyway we chatted through email and spoke on the phone several times, she sounded very sexy and cool so I could hardly wait to meet her. She gave me every reason to believe that she had the hots for me as much as I did her. We decided to meet at a Red Lobster. In a bid to make a good first impression, I arrived first and secured our reservation at a window seat. I saw an old Toyota Tercel pull into the parking lot with the front driver side riding low. I remember thinking that the front spring in the car must be broken. It parked and the door opened, and out stepped (well stepped is a bad word for the series of motions it took her to extract herself from the vehicle) my date. OUCH!
My date, the person that I thought I had already lost my heart to, was enormous! And I do not mean tall. All of our conversations were apparently based on lies! She had been totally deceitful with me. What was she thinking by setting me up this way? She told me she had an average body type. I don't think I've ever seen a slender hippo, and that is about the best example from the animal world that she most resembled.
My face must have looked shocked, but before she could see me, I managed to compose myself and put my best foot forward (all the time hoping that she would not step on it). The waiter brought her to my table and we ordered our drinks and food. When our food orders came to the table her stomach was so big she couldn't reach her plate. I was stunned to watch her calmly pick up the end of the table, pull it towards her, and plunk the edge of it on her abdomen. I forgot my hunger and just stared at her as she proceeded to wolf down her dinner. She reached over and grabbed mine asking, “You're not eating this are you?” On top of this, she ordered and ate three different deserts, all the time remarking at how she thought that desert was the best part of any meal. I paid the bill, which put a serious dent in my wallet, and wound the evening down as quickly as it was polite to do. I stopped at a Burger King on the way home because I had not managed to eat a thing during my ordeal. I just ordered regular sizes. I just did not have the desire to face any more whoppers that night. I had had enough super sizes for the night. She e-mailed me telling me she had a great time and wanted to know when we were getting together again. I said, “Never! My job had moved and I will be leaving the country shortly”.
I have wised up since then. No longer would I subject myself to the crazy uncertainties of any more blind dates.
From now on Online Dating Sites are the only places I hang out. Needless to say, I am much better at detecting phonies than I used to be, so I seldom have any negative surprises. The only negative things that I have to face now are not getting a good vibe from a woman that I would otherwise be proud to be with forever.
Here is where I found the top personals sites to join:
best online dating sites
